💬 "You don't have to hold the whole container by yourself."

Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is stop believing it all depends on you.

Hi Melinda,

As leaders, there are moments when we absolutely need to be in control.

But over the weekend, I found myself asking a different question.

When does being in control feel like conducting an orchestra...

...and when does it feel like gripping every instrument?

That question came to me during one of the most beautiful experiences I recently had.

I was part of a beautiful baby blessing for two dear friends who are just a few weeks away from welcoming their second child.

Nineteen women gathered on Zoom from around the world.

Before the ceremony even began you could feel it.

The container.

The love.

The steadiness.

And something else happened almost immediately.

The two moms relaxed. It was visible.

As soon as they saw all of us, they remembered...

they didn't have to hold the whole thing alone.

One of the moms, a remarkable high performer who naturally likes being in control, said something that stayed with me.

She said,

"Just seeing all of you here reminded me that it's not solely up to me."

It made me wonder how often I do the very same thing.

And then I realized I probably wasn’t the only one.

We carry the outcome.

The responsibility.

The emotional weight.

The experience everyone else is having.

Because we care so deeply.

Until, almost without noticing, caring quietly turns into carrying.

And carrying eventually becomes fear: “If I don’t hold this together… who will?”

What if allowing others to help hold the container isn't weakness, but wisdom?

So here's something I'd love for you to notice this week.

Where in your life have you quietly started believing,

"It's all up to me."

That’s the voice of By Me. Nothing is wrong with that…until it begins breeding fear, exhaustion and overwhelm.

And what would change if you remembered it doesn’t have to be all up to you?

Sometimes remembering you’re not carrying it all alone is enough to change how heavy it feels.

With presence,

Melinda