Sustainable Success Nudge from Your Future Self

💬 “Choose your state first… and then engage with what’s in front of you from that place.”

Your power isn’t in what happens next. It’s in how you meet it.

Hi Melinda,

There’s a subtle dynamic I see often; especially with high-performing women (also in men too).

You’re highly capable.
You handle things (often, pretty darn well).
You move life and business forward.

You’re in doer energy most of the time.

And at the same time, you deeply desire to feel more ease. More trust. More support.

So you start to shift.
You soften.
You open.
You try to move into more of a Through Me way of living.

Here’s where things get tricky.

That openness quietly becomes conditional.

“I’ll relax when this is handled.”
“I’ll feel better when they respond.”
“I’ll trust once I know what’s happening.”

And just like that, your state is no longer yours. Your inner world is now dependent on someone or something else showing up or looking a certain way.

It’s tied to timing, to outcomes, to someone else’s action.

This is the pattern.

Because the moment something outside of you becomes the condition for your state of being, you’re no longer in Through Me.

You’re in a waiting pattern.

Through Me doesn’t mean:
“I can relax once everything works out.”
“I trust, as long as things go the way I want them to.”
“I’m surrendered, but still quietly monitoring the outcome.” 

Through Me isn't conditional.

It means:

I choose my state first…and then I engage with what’s in front of me from that place.

That might look like:
...staying grounded while things are uncertain
...remaining open even when something feels incomplete
...choosing trust without needing immediate resolution

because you are no longer outsourcing your internal state.

So here’s something to notice this week:

Where are you waiting to feel better based on something outside of you?

I was working with a private coaching client this week on this exact topic, and we found ourselves talking about what it means to “unhook” in the moment you feel triggered.

What I loved about where we landed was this:
creating simple ways for her to pause, disconnect from the reaction, and choose her state first before taking any action.

One practice I shared with her was a simple breathing exercise:

Inhale for the count of 4…
hold for 4…
exhale for the count of 6…
hold.

Repeat three times.
Then notice how your body and energy feel.

It doesn’t take much time, but it creates just enough space, a gap, where you can choose your state first…and then engage with what’s in front of you from a more present, grounded, and connected place.

Remember, your outer world follows your inner world. Always and in all ways.

With presence,
Melinda