Sustainable Success Note From Your Future Self

💬 “Focus doesn’t have to only mean gripping control, and surrender doesn’t only mean giving up. Together, they allow progress without force.”

This week, a single sentence stopped me in my tracks.

A reminder that focus and surrender are not opposites.

It came from my mentor, Peter Sage—and it landed like a gong that touched my soul.

At first, it created a familiar crinkle in my forehead—because from where I’ve spent most of my life, it felt obvious that they were opposites.

Then I realized something important. 

I was seeing it through a By Me lens. 

For most of my life—especially in By Me consciousness—focus meant:

• Effort
• Direction
• Will
• Control
• Holding the line
• Making it happen
  

And surrender meant:

• Letting go
• Trust
• Giving up
• Releasing control
• Stepping back
• And often times, failure
  

Those were opposites then. They had to be.

But now?

As I stand at a threshold moving more fully into Through Me self-leadership, that equation no longer holds true:

The Reframe (this is the heart of it)

Focus is not force.
Surrender is not collapse.

In higher consciousness:

• Focus is clarity of attention
• Surrender is absence of resistance

When both are present, something extraordinary happens:

Life moves through you instead of being dragged forward by you.

That’s why this sentence rang so deeply for me.

I’m no longer meant to choose between:

• discipline or flow
• direction or trust
• devotion or ease

I’m being invited to hold direction without gripping it.

This inquiry feels especially alive right now as I’m questioning many former “principles,” truths, and habits—upleveling how I lead, create, and live.

And I noticed something else.

As I’ve been releasing old By Me patterns, the muscle in my right (dominant) thumb has been aching for weeks.

I could have treated it as something to fix (and have been).

But also, I saw it as an invitation—thank you, Louise Hay and You Can Heal Your Life.

An invitation to notice where I’m still gripping life…
where control is quietly masquerading as responsibility.

That physical signal is what drew me even deeper into this inquiry between focus and surrender.

The question has gently shifted from:

“What should I do next?”
to
“What wants to happen through me now—if I stop gripping so tightly?”

I don’t have a neat conclusion or takeaway this week.
Just an invitation.

Notice where you’re equating focus with effort.
Notice where surrender still feels unsafe.
Notice what your physical body may be revealing.

And gently ask yourself:

Where in my life am I still gripping?

What wants to happen through you right now—if I loosen the reins?

Sometimes the most sustainable success doesn’t come from doing more.

It comes from releasing the grip and strain—and finding the flow of letting clarity and trust walk together.

Yesterday, I was in an art museum when a local youth choir began singing an old, familiar song from church camp.

The words felt like a quiet confirmation of this entire inquiry:

“I’ve got peace like a river in my soul.”

With curiosity,
Melinda

P.S. If this stirred something for you, I’d love to hear what it brought up. Just hit reply and share what you’re noticing.